![]() ![]() If your breakups have been awful, that’s normal. In 2013, the average number of times Americans said their heart had been broken was five. research estimates that people average roughly two serious relationships before settling into one that is considered permanent. Although the data are limited and results vary widely, some U.K. There’s actually a lot you can do to speed the healing process, learn from the experience, and find new love (and, ideally, not make the same mistake again).ī reaking up is part of an ordinary life. There is no magical remedy for a bad breakup, but that doesn’t mean you have to just suffer and read Victorian novels while you wait to feel better. In those early days and months, however, the pain can feel like it will never end. Little by little, of course, most people do get over a breakup, move on, and, eventually, love someone else. Miss Havisham’s fate seems plausible: You will never again see love as anything more than an exercise in futility. Shut away in her dark house, Miss Havisham is described as a cross between a skeleton and a wax statue, frozen in a state of traumatic rejection.Īs cartoonish as these characters are, they can seem achingly realistic to readers in the midst of the terrible heartbreak that can come when a romance ends. In the classic novel, she never gets over the pain of being abandoned at the altar on her wedding day, decades before. But for my money, the most extreme case is Miss Havisham in Charles Dickens’s Great Expectations. L iterature is full of brutally jilted lovers and cruelly broken hearts, whether Anna Karenina’s or Heathcliff’s in Wuthering Heights. ![]() Click here to listen to his podcast series on all things happiness, How to Build a Happy Life. “ How to Build a Life ” is a column by Arthur Brooks, tackling questions of meaning and happiness. ![]()
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